( # san )

O azul da sua voz

preso na folha de papel

perfuma o ar

Fotografia: Kenneth Josephson

(# Chinmoku)

uma pérola perfeita

na negra clausura da concha

assim é teu amor

( # ni )

uma linha vermelha

fina, precisa, caligráfica

no teu pulso

  

( # ichi )

 deixar-se despir,

amar o vento em silêncio

o destino da montanha

Fotografia: Heleen van de Ven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... e estamos no Facebook

entrem aqui

M is for Murmur [The alphadeath Codex]

I often dream of you

Trudging naked over the red sands

Unwary, unavailable, cold as the furthest stars

Wondering wild in the feral night

In dusk immersed, a shard of glass

I dream of you when the hours don’t last

I once drew your face in a blank horizon

And like poison, it flooded my veins

I drew your eyes with charcoal and blood

And still no tears dared to show, eyes so aglow

Haunting, eerie as a house in demise

With charcoal and blood I drew your eyes

I will sing a song for you to dance

The rhythm will tangle us and burn me inside

And with all my heart, I will sing for you

Words of cobalt, red and blue

A song of death with all my heart

I will sing to you and fall apart

I gently whisper in your ear

Speak of love and thing to come

And mildly hum how I will kill you

And feel you murmur one last word

Soothe and pale, in my arms held

I whisper gently and bid farewell 

I think I'm losing my own identity...

Last night I had this confusing and weird dream... 

I was walking on the street at night. It was 3:33am. I actually stopped walking to look at the watch and when I raised my head forward, there was no road, no buildings, no stars, not even the sky. I realized that the concept of space had completely vanished. I looked back and behind me was a black cloud with tones of gray, turning everything black around it and coming in my direction. As I tried to run from it I found myself being sucked towards a bright red tunnel. So I stooped. I was still in the same place. I tried to move but I just couldn't do it. Everything around me was happening so fast, but I was so slow in my movements and my thoughts. My eyes were so wide and shiny, my face screamed fear but I couldn't move... so I just stayed there perfectly still while a force of somewhere was pulling me in direction of the tunnel. When I faced the tunnel right in front of me I only saw red. Red everywhere. All painted in red. There was no other color. I looked back, that color was scaring me, and all was black. An infinite black all around me and the tunnel in front . I had nowhere else to go. Without no more choices, no more paths I took a step into the bright red tunnel. My body was shaking intensely. I looked to see inside the tunnel and there was two ways to go, right and left,  a few steps forward there was a wall. Instead of choosing a way to go, I just walked in front and I passed trough the wall. It didn't stop me. And then I got to the deep ocean... there I was... dancing with the water. Suddenly my body contracted. I remember getting the feeling that I was hugging something... something... it wasn't a person, it wasn't an object, not even an animal. Cause, I couldn't see it. I could only feel it... In the top of my fingers I felt the tickles of the tingle so softly. It was part of me, my being... it was my soul. When I finally realized what I was holding everything faded to black. Again, it was all black... But I looked so peaceful, so light. Between the space of those fragments of images, feelings and emotions my fear and anxiety were gone. And there I was, embracing this blackness that was surrounding me and my soul, that I was holding in my arms. Finally, after all this tornado of feelings I found myself accepting, understanding that my soul was no longer attached to my body... and I, was dead.

L is for Lie [The Alphadeath Codex]

Fearful, unsteady

Trouble hiding in every corner

Yet no one seems to see

But me

Something whispers in the draft

Something you just cannot grasp

A harsh voice breathing fire

Tells her what to do

Where she needs to be

Will she?

Poised in a dark lit room

A dragon merged into the night

Invisible to all those undreaming

Terror awakens, nightmares unleashed

Hell’s wickedness unreleased

Oh but no one seems to feel

Yet it is so real

Step by step

Crawls into the ceiling, flies underneath the floor

Drinks the blood from shattered hearts

‘Till hearts will beat nevermore

But life endures, proceeds

As the dragon plants her evil seed
A lie after another

Corrupting each other 

Although everyone seems to see

The vagrant murmur deludes friends

Makes foe the lover

Antagonist the brother

Burns the will to bitter ashes

Stings the poison into your veins

And nothing else remains

But dragons breath

Spiralling downwards

Leading us all to death 

Eu brincava com os teus caracóis. 

Passava o polegar no teus olhos num gesto ternurento. 
Uma lágrima cai do teu olho. A lágrima chega às tuas bochechas, e eu seco-a. 
Mais nenhuma lágrima tua cairá ao chão que eu pisar ao teu lado. Eu não deixarei. Mas, novamente, caímos numa cama que não é feita... e ali ficamos... a olhar para o tecto enquanto as nossas mãos se entrelaçam no silêncio da voz que já não temos.
As palavras já não descrevem mas e, nos momentos melancólicos quem atende a minha alma desassossegada? - O amor... não será certamente.

Mas fico. Espero. Um dia a inquietação acalmará. Continuo à espera...
Estes desgostos não correm. Aliás, nem têm pressa...pressa de morrer. Pelo oposto, quem fica com vontade de morrer sou eu. Na angústia de algo que às vezes canso-me de sentir. Os meus olhos incham, doem. A minha cabeça dói. São os gritos. Têm vozes. E por momentos, naquela interminável ida à casa de banho em busca de isolação eu procurei tesouras, procurei gilletes. Pensei em cortar o cabelo, penso em cortar-me a mim. Eu queria. Eu tentei. Aí o meu medo gritou mais alto que a minha coragem. E eu parei. - Desespero - Fico sentada no chão daquela casa de banho em quadrado. E quando saí de lá as luzes já não eram luzes. Eram fantasmas a perseguirem-me. Como se me quisessem. Eu recuo, não totalmente. E continuo, outra vez. Já não o conseguem. Esses fantasmas. Nada me afasta daquele conforto no canto do meu quarto em que fumo os meus charros às escuras, onde me afogo no mar de estrelas que observo. Naquele silêncio ameno. Onde as vozes já não se ouvem. Onde o hábito que se consome daqueles pequenos momentos permanece. Onde não me preencho mas me questiono eternamente.

K is for Kin [The Alphadeath Codex]

In all the fallen leafs and brittle branches
In the still puddles and murky water
Inside the bleak hollows beneath the old roots

You won’t find me there
For I am dust and dirt
A feather floating amidst the locust winds
Ravaged by the echoes of a nameless name

And the itch
The unstoppable itch
That grits the nerves and gnashes bones
The venomous anxiety that swallows you whole
It’s not me
Nor by me is brought

For I am now forgot

And all that you see in front of thee
The metallic taste of a kiss ~
The denied bliss of love unfulfilled
The marks you left in your mind field
The bodies now carrion
Wasting in uncanny quietness
All the madness

That’s not me
That could never be me
For I
I am the next of kin to nothingness
I am the emptiness
The void in your eyes as you take your last breath

I am become death

Raios serpentinando pelas frinchas desta porta, e a criança lá dentro, como estátua de sal pontua a penumbra que me cobre como um cobertor demasiado curto onde os pés sobressaem ligeiramente arroxeados do frio acumulado. Reverberam vozes agudas, longínquas, risinhos inocentes pela parede que divide do condicional, pleno de mofo e teias de aranha. Deste lado só vácuo, ranger de dentes uma boneca amputada e cega e o buraco negro que já me sugou, ruminou e cuspiu com nojo.