N is for Neon [The alphadeath Codex]

Drifting relentless

A sea saw sway takes me away

Far, far into foreign shores

Where amongst the pebbles and the seaweed

I lay to rest one more time

The salty corrosion of my bones

Carved the most curious form of writing

Like a mermaid’s suicide letter

Maybe a starfish telegram

A seahorse dances in the ebb and flow

A murmur from the deep resonates

All is quiet, all is loud

A thunderstorm rips apart the endless horizon

Making the sea foam glow in electric blue

And the ocean lit up like neon

I here again, I’ve been here forever

Dreaming and drowning in sorrow

Marooned in a lonely place

Seagulls come to sing at my wake

As my body becomes sand and my soul turns to salt

M is for Murmur [The alphadeath Codex]

I often dream of you

Trudging naked over the red sands

Unwary, unavailable, cold as the furthest stars

Wondering wild in the feral night

In dusk immersed, a shard of glass

I dream of you when the hours don’t last

I once drew your face in a blank horizon

And like poison, it flooded my veins

I drew your eyes with charcoal and blood

And still no tears dared to show, eyes so aglow

Haunting, eerie as a house in demise

With charcoal and blood I drew your eyes

I will sing a song for you to dance

The rhythm will tangle us and burn me inside

And with all my heart, I will sing for you

Words of cobalt, red and blue

A song of death with all my heart

I will sing to you and fall apart

I gently whisper in your ear

Speak of love and thing to come

And mildly hum how I will kill you

And feel you murmur one last word

Soothe and pale, in my arms held

I whisper gently and bid farewell 

L is for Lie [The Alphadeath Codex]

Fearful, unsteady

Trouble hiding in every corner

Yet no one seems to see

But me

Something whispers in the draft

Something you just cannot grasp

A harsh voice breathing fire

Tells her what to do

Where she needs to be

Will she?

Poised in a dark lit room

A dragon merged into the night

Invisible to all those undreaming

Terror awakens, nightmares unleashed

Hell’s wickedness unreleased

Oh but no one seems to feel

Yet it is so real

Step by step

Crawls into the ceiling, flies underneath the floor

Drinks the blood from shattered hearts

‘Till hearts will beat nevermore

But life endures, proceeds

As the dragon plants her evil seed
A lie after another

Corrupting each other 

Although everyone seems to see

The vagrant murmur deludes friends

Makes foe the lover

Antagonist the brother

Burns the will to bitter ashes

Stings the poison into your veins

And nothing else remains

But dragons breath

Spiralling downwards

Leading us all to death 

K is for Kin [The Alphadeath Codex]

In all the fallen leafs and brittle branches
In the still puddles and murky water
Inside the bleak hollows beneath the old roots

You won’t find me there
For I am dust and dirt
A feather floating amidst the locust winds
Ravaged by the echoes of a nameless name

And the itch
The unstoppable itch
That grits the nerves and gnashes bones
The venomous anxiety that swallows you whole
It’s not me
Nor by me is brought

For I am now forgot

And all that you see in front of thee
The metallic taste of a kiss ~
The denied bliss of love unfulfilled
The marks you left in your mind field
The bodies now carrion
Wasting in uncanny quietness
All the madness

That’s not me
That could never be me
For I
I am the next of kin to nothingness
I am the emptiness
The void in your eyes as you take your last breath

I am become death

J is for Jaded [The Alphadeath Codex]

Say the word

A gentle scream unleashed in the roaring silence of the night

A gasping sound echoing into a blood drenched hollow oak

Eyes open engulfing pictograms of crimson light consuming light

An eerie blinding bursting light

Draws the words left unspoken

Say that word

The one that burns in my cold lips

And tears your heart into shatters

Say it like it matters

As if the stars would crumble into the land

Say it now

Because no one else can

Scream that word

Shout it aloud so no one can hear you

Rip it from your lungs into the saturated air

Say it  like you mean it

Like you really care

Say it

If you dare

Say it again and again

And again

That jaded feeling of forgiveness

And sorrow

Softly breathe it

Into my weary mouth

Say that you love me

Maybe if you mean it

Somehow

Amidst the chaos

And run-arounds

I’ll live again

But

It really doesn’t matter anyhow

Say that word

Say goodbye

Say it like you mean it

For this time

You will not be saying a lie

---

I is for Inertia [The Alphadeath Codex]

I want to go home

I need to smell the fragrance of rosemary one last time

To step in the pebbled trail that leads to your door

Drifting towards a rescue flag, back to safe embrace

Floating like petrichor after a warm summer rain

I wish I could be there again

Say

Say my name

Whisper gently so the whole world can hear it

Muffled by sorrow

Make it echo in every chamber of your heart

Cry it so quietly until it pulls you apart

And hold it forever in a void

So it can never be destroyed

I’m now but a ripple in a dead calm sea

In the offing of my destiny

Lithe and delicate

In languor afloat

A dream I will become

Asunder from you

Strand ashore

Seraphic

Idle

The inertia takes me deep into the everlasting sleep

I will never go home

For as I slowly sink into blackness

And as the blood runs loose from my veins

Drenching ripped leather, twisted metal and broken glass

I myself become past

And through the shouting, the wailing sirens

The screams of terror and burning flesh

I recall the fragrance of rosemary

The earthy sound of my footsteps over the pebbled trail

And your smile

That luminous, glorious smile

That invited me in

The last minute of life

Is the first day of eternity

As the ineffable becomes tangible

I become aware

Everything is oh so clear

With eyes no longer shaded by fear

But rush not my dear love

For when your time comes

I’ll be the one

Waving

Waiting

I am at home

H is for Hail [The Alphadeath Codex]

Sinister, you dare to say?

The day grows late, the sun is grey

My eyelids can no more carry the burden of Thy sight

Oh! Poor me, unable to uphold all this might, I shall hide, quick

Startled by the footsteps pounding heavily on the metal spiral staircase,

The one where the ivy looms and rats lurk,

With their beady eyes glowing like dying ambers from yesterday’s fire

May this thunderstorm soothe Thy anger and fade away

And let the night roll deep, unaware of hell’s blaze

I dread all forms of warmth

For warm feelings are too vague, mundane

And a man in my position shan’t have his name allied with piety or other things humane

Alas, this is the price to pay, for serving Thy name, my nameless shame

As I sat proudly, cloak and staff disguising the hoary and frail

I glance at the crowd reunited here once more

Hoping I’ll bring them hope for days to come

Yet for myself hope I have none

Thy wrath, Thy virtue and untarnished love

All this we expect from above, hands outstretched

Claiming for rain to pour and wash away our sins

Ah, they sing, sing to you my Lord the highest

And walk, one by one, pleading blissful life or peaceful death

Yet look at me, both in awe and fright

And kneel, bow heads to accept Thee in their fair heart

I accept the role and in Thy name I play my part

These unfortunate men march towards their twilight

In Thy name they will get through another day

Not felling forsaken, nor feeling pain

Sprinkled with holy water, feels like cruel hail

The sinister ritual unfolds beneath rusty iron skies

But in the bleakest corner of its crocked being

The priest knows it’s all lies

G is for Grasp [The Alphadeath Codex]

Sometimes I believe
Sometimes I accept that one day, all will fall apart
Sometimes I just know I’ll break your heart
Sometimes I can see
Clearly
A dark river runs through it
Floods the gates
Thrashes the gentle willows unable to bend before such rage
And deep
Deep within myself
Sometimes I accept
That I have become hell

And no bird will sing or cloud show silver lining
Because, sometimes
The fear is blinding
And hate is the only thing gleaming in your eyes
When sometimes, everything else just dies

And as hope withers, it cries in a whirl of misfortune
And fades to black
Sometimes, there is no turning back

And then, by cruelty veiled
Seated in a throne of spite
I give up the fight
Close my eyes
And quietly embrace the gloom
Victorious in doom
I have vanquished my soul

As I lay silently unfathomed
Sometimes I wish that all would fade away
And a that a harsh blow should strike me dead
So I may dream of faraway places no more
So I can hide from all this maelstrom
So I no longer try to grasp 
Desperately
To the last shred of kindness in this world

And as the sun sinks on the horizon and the starless skies fall
Sometimes I believe
That there is nothing left to believe at all

F is for Fractal [The Alphadeath Codex]

Listen

The murmur in your head

Driving you gently across

A bleak, slow, sorrowful street

Hunting edges of unmarked corpses in the night

Twitching nerve, itching skin, slippery hands failing to grip

To hope, any hope, any rope

Repeat after me

I, redeemer, drunken dreamer, sway untouched, unseen, unspoken

Under the dim lit corner, a sigh, a whispering crawling up your ear

Not here

Never here

Gravel soaked in crimson blood, the wreckage feast, the damage done

To whom? To no one

You never seen no one

Because

We are not here to be seen

But to be felt, deep, deep inside your skin

Clutching at every thought left unattended  

We are the dead

Nothingness spread across the void of your unwillingness

Marching silent in a sea of endless, endless noise, a violent noise

As a vain expression of indulgence, a zombified nation

Without a notion of time and no time for any notion of life

We are the living ones

We are

The fractal mind of a collective perpetual desolation

The ghosts that sit by your side

As you read these words

I am now the shivering across your spine

[für H.]